Since we are all adults here, it is safe to assume we know sex doesn’t always go down in the confines of a boyfriend-girlfriend (or some other combination of genders) relationship. Lots of sex, maybe even most of it, happens between two people who just want to bump uglies and see each other’s orgasm-face. Maybe you know the partner (and I may use that term loosely) well. Maybe you just wanna get in her after meeting in the club. Who knows. We all know that sex has some type of start, some hopefully good pumps in the middle (see what I did there?), and an end. After all is said and done, what happens next?
It’s Clean Up Time
This is always an interesting time. Let’s say you…eh hem…finishes before she arrives and now something needs to be done with the kids who got caught in the hat trap or took up residence on some part of her body. No matter how cool a guy is, this process is always a bit awkward to watch. **turns away** How long does she lay there? Does he stand up and turn his back to her? Should he leave the room? Who goes to the bathroom first? Should you turn the lights on or keep them off while you find your underwear? Do you get dressed because you are now embarrassed to see each other’s post-sex bodies, or do you stay naked? Wait, where the hell are the covers? Should one have a pre-moistened towellete on hand? There’s no one right way.
Pillow Talk
Even if one of you is making the late-night creep back to your car or your boo, do you guys talk about what just happened? Check out my snerario
Him: That was fun.
Her: **bitter that she didn’t get her orgasm** Yeah…
Do you just turn over and pretend to fall sleep? Hopefully, you both were put to bed. If not, maybe you talk about preseason football? Praise her for that thing she did or the way he shut it down? Or maybe it was one of those “Let me just lay here and look at the ceiling because I can’t believe that just happened” moments. Don’t act like you haven’t had nights when “that” meant something good, something terrible, or maybe even something pretty pointless.
The Next Day
This is where things can get tricky for men and women. Women may wonder how soon is too soon to send him a text, BBM or IM. “I don’t wanna seem like I’m thirsty.” A man on the other hand may not want her to think he’s feeling her “like that,” but may not want to look like an asshole either. Both of you may play the I-don’t-want-to-be-the-first-to-reach-out game. Unless you did the do with your boo. But what do you even say? Whatever you say, you always try to find the balance between saying too much and not enough. Either one may set off the wrong reaction in him or her. Stage 5 clingers or what I like to call “Keith Sweats” can be born on this day. No bueno.
Like I said, we are all adults. Most of us pride ourselves on “not playing games.” But the truth is, there is some element to the post coital dynamics between folks. At any point, depending on your level of comfort with the person, we may be worried about saving face, protecting our pride, preserving some reputation within our minds and in the minds of others, and possibly not burning a cutty-buddy bridge.
What are some of your dos or don’ts of post-thronxing fun? Have you ever done something that you wish you didn’t? Did you see him or her do something that turned you off…or maybe got the juices flowing again (pun intended)? Has someone done something that caught you off guard (in a good or bad way)? Or is this something you’ve never really thought about before? Either way, share your piece with me.
The Makings of a Man 
Where is the discretion?
10/19/2010
Q. N. Gardner, MBA Commentary, Sex BBM, Brett Favre, Facebook, sexting, Twitter Leave a comment
I'm sure Brett Favre is thinking the same thing right now.
dis·cre·tion (d -skr sh n) n. 1. The quality of being discreet; circumspection. 2. Ability or power to decide responsibly. 3. Freedom to act or judge on one’s own: All the decisions were left to our discretion.
If you take a look around the internet, it seems as though individuals just do not about privacy. Twitter expose’s, Facebook status testimonials, and numerous other instances show that people have no more discretion left in this world. In a time where technological advances occur rapidly, we must remain cognizant of our personal information and “incriminating evidence” that can be easily accessible on the internet for an eternity. Thankfully, I will provide some guidelines to discretion for the modern era.
Any pictures or videos you send can and will be used against you
I couldn’t stress this enough. While some guys revel in the artistic beauty of #TittyTuesdays and #ThongThursdays on Twitter, I could never understand how (or why) women would send those type of pictures and post them on the Internet. What’s worse is when you send these pictures to men that you know, making an improper judgement of their character. Next thing you know, that little precious intimate photo is the pride and joy of his entire crew!
Men, you aren’t any better. This new phenomenon of sending pictures of your penis to women… when did this start? When did this become the new hot trend on the street? Foolishness, let me tell you a secret: All her girlfriends have seen that picture, all of her gay friends have seen that picture, and all of her platonic male friends know that you “be sending your dick all on the net”! They especially clown if you’re packing a pea shooter bro. Not cool.
It’s even worse with these videos. Some people have blue movies shot of unsuspecting men and women everyday. Candid camera is alive and well in 2010. Ask Kat Stacks, it’s not that hard to shoot a video and incriminate an unsuspecting individual. We as a whole need to smarten up!
My Advice: If you MUST send these pictures, at least take your face out of them! That way you can deny anything that may trickle onto places not for your liking. If you post these pictures or videos of your own free will, don’t be mad when people you don’t want to see you in spread eagle ask about your trip to Mardi Gras. I mean, let’s ask Brett Favre about discretion.
Text messages can be a recipe for disaster
In 2010, we are a bunch of text messaging, Blackberry Messaging, GChatting, Pinging, and emailing individuals. These short messages can carry conversations for hours as we look to multitask. Hell, many people don’t even like to talk on the phone anymore! With this convenient method of communication, we also have gotten lax and comfortable in the types of conversation.
People do dirt daily. Not everybody has a written record of said dirt. When you dudes looking to setup a rendezvous with your side chick, or you ladies don’t want Ray Ray finding out about your one night with Leon that “you didn’t count because you didn’t cum”, you leave yourself vulnerable to the swindle. For people with smartphones, you can now screen capture, forward texts, send text conversations via email, save chats on the computer, or a host of other ways to keep information secure just in case you need to ether someone. How many stories have you heard about an email chain forward in an office that got someone fired? Let’s not forget the AIM Window Oops Factor (AWOF). The AWOF takes you to the day when an AIM window with a new message would pop-up while you were typing to someone else. Imagine typing a message to a female about how she rode you real crazy-like last night, only to have your girlfriend reply “Umm…what are you talking about?” Yeah, NOT the business. I’ve mistakenly texted wrong people (stories for another day) so I know about this pitfall all too well.
My Advice: Do what you do, but be smart! Show proper due diligence when sending text messages of any kind so you don’t have to yell oops.
Computer Etiquette
If I had a dollar for every story I heard about a woman catching a man cheating because he used her computer to chat with other women, or look at naked pictures, I’d be a multi millionaire. When will people learn that saving passwords, downloading pictures onto a computer, internet browsing history, and other aspects of computer use are as easy to conceal as they are to be discovered? I mean, I’ve heard stories of dudes leaving entire photo albums of other females on their wife’s computer. Let that marinate for a second. There might not be any helping these people but I will try.
My Advice: Use your own computers…or just read a book. Well, reading a book just may be the best option.
I know I’m not the only one to notice these internet transgressions. You guys got any other examples or tips?